The Kate Middlebum Chronicles Book 2

Even funnier than the real thing!

"The Kate Middlebum Chronicles are the most hilarious spoof on the Royal Family since Spitting Image".
"A spoof on the Royal Family which will have you snorting with laughter as you read the LOL things they don't really get up to on Christmas day and before."
“A very funny parody of the British Royal Family, read if you want a right royal laugh”

The Kate Middlebum chronicles are a parody of the fairy-tale romance of a lovely middle class girl called Kate who marries a Prince. This very funny and rude book presents an entirely fictitious but hilarious version of people who bathe in the public eye. 

Best-selling writer Ann Abrams explores British obsessions with class, sex, and bottoms and this book is not for the easily offended. Ann is not responsible if you die laughing or do anything else stupid.

Read the hilarious first instalment here:
USA: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A9OHDIY/

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shades-Princess-parody-Darker-ebook/dp/B00A9OHDIY/

Marketing is Violence by Marianna Cage hits best-seller chart on Amazon

In this extensively researched challenge to the new demigods of marketing, academic and journalist Marianna Cage smashes the false idols of consumer capitalism and reveals the dark secrets of its lingua franca.

"A real tour-de-force. It needed to be said." Dr Arianna Bove, Lecturer in Politics and Ethics, Queen Mary, University of London.

"A complete showstopper!" Erik Empson PhD, editor of generation-online.

"Marianna Cage has rewritten the script(ure) mom!" Amit, CASS, Singapore.

Marketing is violence explores the nature of marketing as an exercise of privatised social power and its effects on our minds and our bodies. It is presented in clear, accessible intelligent prose but also includes a number of case studies and discussion points that act as a study/ teaching guide as well as an extensive bibliography. A must for everyone from the grand strategist to the curious consumer.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Marketing-Violence-User-Guide-ebook/dp/B00AOSFC0G/

Screwge A Modern Christmas Carol by Chris Child

“A scary funny modern version of a timeless tale, destined to become a classic in its own right.”

“A contemporary Christmas Carol which asks how much we sacrifice to get what we think we want.”

“Essential reading for anyone who feels too stressed to enjoy life.”

Can Carole change course before it’s too late? This Christmas she will get the chance.

Carole Goodge is a 35 year old workaholic lawyer with her own practice just off Regent Street. She has sacrificed everything to build her career and make money. Obsessively controlling and penny pinching she employs one poorly paid assistant paralegal Neeta, a single mum of a young daughter.
On the night before Christmas, Carole returns to her office to pick up some papers and when she gets home she is confronted by her ex-partner’s ghost Jake Farley, who was tragically killed seven years ago just when they were setting up their firm Farley Goodge.

Farley tells her she will be receiving messages from three ghosts: Then, Now, and Next….

Find out what happens in this brilliant, scary, and exciting book.

Inspired by Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/SCREWGE-MODERN-CHRISTMAS-CAROL-ebook/dp/B00AQNQ99C/

Amazon USA: http://www.amazon.com/SCREWGE-MODERN-CHRISTMAS-CAROL-ebook/dp/B00AQNQ99C/

Definitive Edition of The Book of Five Rings

The definitive edition of an essential strategy classic on the martial arts. This is a guide which will help you make decisions in life and business. This is the most accessible text available: with a linked table of contents, beautiful colour illustrations, and a clear introduction and footnotes providing historical context.

The Book of Five Rings was written by Kensei Miyamoto Musashi in the last years of his life, in Japan around 1645. The legendary swordsman Musashi reputedly never lost a duel and in this book he divulges the wisdom behind his strategy. It will be of interest to military historians, martial artists, students of Eastern philosophy and the general reader.

Readers will be stunned at the ruthlessness of Miyamoto's approach to the sword and the warrior code, as well as the sheer beauty of his written exposition of the principles of his system. The book also contains the master swordsman's Dokkodo, The Way of Walking Alone, the author's short treatise on honour, service and duty.

This illustrated edition contains ten unique pictures by prize-winning illustrator Simeon Banner. It also includes an extensive introduction by academic Erik Empson, on the meaning of Musashi's treatise which makes it accessible to a modern audience.

The definitive edition of an essential strategy classic on the martial arts. This is a guide which will help you make decisions in life and business. This is the most accessible text available: with a linked table of contents, beautiful colour illustrations, and a clear introduction and footnotes providing historical context.

A Novel Dark Funny Romance by Jasper Joffe

“Hilarious reading ... it's hard not to like him”. -- Dogmatika.com

Meet Nathaniel Water. You’ll either love him or hate him, and he’s not too sure what he thinks of himself. A young artist with a complicated love life, a character you certainly won’t forget once you’ve got to know him. Try to figure out what makes him tick.

While his career is taking off, his love life descends into an ever-deepening mess. First he proposes marriage to his beautiful Slovak girlfriend, Jelena, with whom he fights constantly. But they split up almost as soon as they’re engaged. He then meets Harriet, Jelena's opposite, and marries her instead. But that’s not the end of it. Both women become pregnant at different stages, he leaves each of them at least once, and deserts both when they most need him. This wryly comic novel reveals the dangers of celebrity, and some complicated problems you'll enjoy seeing Nathaniel Water try to work out.

From the reviews of the first edition:

'A page turner.’ -- Matthew Collings

'A sort of absurdist, amoral fable ... There is something exquisitely tragic about Water's life, a repetitive parade of posh restaurants, press views and disinterested flings. Ultimately, he's a tad boring - not something you could say about the novel he stars in.'
Richard Godwin, Literary Review

read it in the UK by clicking here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/NOVEL-DARK-FUNNY-ROMANCE-ebook/dp/B00AKCEWZM/

read it in the USA by clicking here:

http://www.amazon.com/NOVEL-DARK-FUNNY-ROMANCE-ebook/dp/B00AKCEWZM/

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Kate Middleton Spoof

Buy on Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00A9OHDIY
Buy on Amazon USA: http://www.amazon.com/Shades-Princess-parody-Darker-ebook/dp/B00A9OHDIY


From the amazon reviews:


"I class myself as a Royalist. I joined the celebrations in Hyde Park on the day Prince William married Kate Middleton. I have a collection of Charles & Diana coffee mugs. Whatever the failings of individual royals, I think the Royal Family is one of the few remaining Great things about Great Britain.

And yet I snorted with laughter all the way through Fifty Shades of a Princess. It's a very well-observed and sharply written comedy, which not long ago would have seen its author locked up in the Tower of London. How times have changed, that such a scabrous, obscene and indeed treasonous book can now be published with absolute impunity. Are we are better, more freer society for allowing such publications? I'm not sure, but it's a very, very funny book.

Any reader of Private Eye will find the tone of voice familiar. Fifty Shades of a Princess has a very public schoolboy humour, that finds anything to do with sex and toilets hilariously funny. There is lots of talk of bums and botties, and a terror of female sexuality.

I thought at first that Ann Abrams must be a woman-hating anti-feminist, but actually I think repressed public schoolboy is more likely. The two are often the same thing. There's a delightful level of detail behind the humour. I loved the imaginary names of upper class socialites such as Hepzibah Capshett. Abrams certainly knows the Royal story very well, for instance referring to Kate's famous dress worn at a St Andrews fashion show, and the satire extends to the wider circle in which the young royals and their suitors move.

The English are obsessed with class, with so many gradations of snobbery as each class looks down on all the others. I actually found these parts of the story more keenly observed and funnier than the sex scenes. Some readers may be put off by Abram's lavatorial obsessions. You could even say this book is another assault on the dignity of the Royal marriage, just like the French paparazzi. But at least it's funny, and it's satire, and no real princesses were harmed in the making of this book.

Sadly the Kindle dictionary didn't tell me the meaning of "sausage & mash" or "Full English". I do hope we'll find out in the next installment."

Number 1 on Amazon in British Detectives!

http://www.amazon.com/HECKLE-thriller-mystery-suspense-ebook/dp/B00AFBM5BG/



"The prose is richly detailed, and the authorial mind keenly intelligent. The language is at once archaic and thoroughly modern, like Arthur Conan Doyle writing in the time of Google Maps. The story is tightly plotted, with the chapter breaks breathlessly pushing the action along.

The story is set in a downtrodden East End of London, part Jack the Ripper and part David Widgery's Some Lives!: A Gp's East End. Heckle is a solicitor representing 'bad' people with messy lives, people he disapproves of. There's a suggestion that he feels that in helping degenerates escape justice he is not serving the interests of a society in breakdown. Now perhaps he's being punished by seeing it happen in his own life, with his daughter falling under the spell of one John Freid, an amoral, psychopathic murderer.

There's a surprisingly amount going in this short tale. Subtexts include the motives of those who help the needy; how we can feel trapped by how others perceive us; how drugs can free us, and then destroy us; parents who are fearful of the sexuality of their adult children; the treatment of immigrants in society; and social and class conflict. All told in a luxurious but immediately engaging prose style.

Like Will Self without a thesauraus, Chris Child shows potential to be a great neo-Gothic chronicler of London. I look forward to his next book."

From the amazon reviews

HECKLE by Chris Child, free thriller on Amazon

“A beautiful twisting tale which has a gripping and shocking conclusion.” Jeff Hampton. 29.11.12

What would you do to save your daughter from herself?

Mark Heckle, a lawyer, is desperately concerned that his daughter Eva is in danger. When a peculiar accident happens near his daughter's home, he meets John Freid, who reeks of evil. Heckle sets out to discover who Freid is and what his hold over his daughter is, in a stunning suspenseful adventure which will have you gripped until you find out the truth behind the mystery.

Inspired by the Robert Louis Stevenson classic “Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.”  

free on AMAZON UK:  http://www.amazon.com/HECKLE-thriller-mystery-suspense-ebook/dp/B00AFBM5BG/

free on AMAZON USA: http://www.amazon.com/HECKLE-thriller-mystery-suspense-ebook/dp/B00AFBM5BG